post 17: the places I am

I am in a warm bed, fitted against my partner’s body. Even when I am out and about I am in this bed — because warmth waits for me.

I am in a distant country, walking the shoreland. Even when I am out and about I am in this country — because memory waits for me.

I am in a colorful office, absorbing browsers and books. Even when I am out and about I am in this office — because work waits for me. 

I am in a classroom, glancing between screens and faces. Even when I am out and about I am in this room — because teaching waits for me.

The places I claim follow me. When I do not want to belong to a place I reject it adamantly — lest it follow me by mistake. 

When a place has not wanted me to belong, it has rejected me adamantly —  lest I begin to change its point of view by mistake. 

I will not take this personally. It is evidence of my savviness, to dis-resemble the places I’ve left behind. They cannot find me. 

When I have belonged somewhere, the place has followed me wherever I go. I travel and some always catch up, while others are stuck behind the same wall to this day. I can leave a place even when my body hasn’t; I just turn my eyes into stone.

Editor’s Note: I guess this is a… poem? Don’t roast me, but if you do, that won’t stop me from being a headstrong emotionalist!

Oh and wait a minute: In case I haven’t shared this, I am the nonfiction editor and finance manager for Anathema Magazine: Spec for the Margins. Anathema is a speculative fiction magazine by and for queer writers of color. I have been involved in efforts to bring this magazine out of hiatus since 2023, and a solid team of editors has come together. Accordingly, we are fundraising to cover Anathema’s costs of operation for at least one year (two issues). 

If you are able, please donate to and share our Kickstarter! At the time of this writing we’ve achieved over 70% of our minimum funding goal. We have 25 days left to reach 100%. 

If you want to learn more about Anathema’s editors, check out this interview by Otherside Magazine.